“Special needs”

“Normal”

When Luca was a baby, we would pop him in the pram and go walking. When you have a baby in a pram- most people smile at you- or acknowledge you in some way. Others with prams might even say something polite like “have a good day”.  When you walk alone, without a pram- and smile at a person- they assume you’re a weirdo or on drugs. They cautiously smile back, sometimes.

Not long after getting a pseudo diagnosis with Luca, we were thrust into the world of Early Childhood Intervention Services (ECIS) and Melbourne City Mission in Brunswick would be our support service. Our family was assigned an amazing social worker, Tina, who I speak to most weeks, who ADORES Luca and who has been ridiculously supportive of our family. We were also assigned a physio therapist, Jennifer who was quick to secure a special chair for Luca (before even knowing her new client from Coburg’s name- she reserved the chair under the name of Muhammad 😂).

The green chair (as we call it) was/is a life changer! I had given up on trying to get Luca to sit up in a “normal” high chair. It broke my heart, as he would slump down and whack his head on the tray. The chair inside the house is on a pedestal that can go up and down with a gas lift -meaning no sore back for me AND Luca could sit at table height with the family. The same green seat can come off and be attached to a pram/pusher frame and I can push him around-like a “normal” pram. But is it a “normal” pram?

It’s not a normal pram. And it doesn’t attract the normal reaction that a normal pram with a normal child receives. It’s not in my head. It’s reality. People in the street either don’t look into my eyes, look away or give me pity eye. I don’t want them to feel that- but I get it. I also find it confronting when I see kids or adults in wheelchairs.

So, with that in mind, sometimes, I just want to walk down the street and feel normal. Not have a stigma. Not have pity from strangers. I’m lucky enough to have a son that is strong enough that he CAN sit in a “normal” pram (without slumping like he used to).  He doesn’t have any tubes or wires attached that would require a special chair.

Today, I gave myself the choice of pram. The “special needs” pram or the “normal” pram. Did I want the world to see a “normal” or “special needs” child? I chose to be “normal” today. I just wanted to push my pram with the confidence of someone with a healthy 2 year old. Just out for a walk in the sunshine to get 1000 more bananas for her eldest child. And as I did, strangers smiled and I smiled back. The man at the shop said “what a beautiful boy, how’s he going-cheeky?” And I nodded. It was nice.

I’m not ashamed of who I am or who Luca is, nor how others behave. It’s life. Sometimes it’s nice to blend in. To be normal. Relatively care free.