You know how lots of parents say about their kids “I just wish they would stop growing” or “I wish they were little forever”?! Well, it seems my little Luca has plateaued in his growth. He has pretty much done the thing that other parents wished for.

I never wished it.

Luca turned 8 years old in February. He is pretty much the height of a 4.5-5 year old. His feet have stayed the same size as they were when he was 2. He still fits in a toddler pram. He has weighed around 20kg for the past 2 years.

There’s a lot of reasons why him being smaller has suited me. The biggest one being I can comfortably carry 20kgs up and down stairs. He doesn’t walk- I (and others) need to carry him a fair bit. Its convenient that he still fits in the pram- because it is light and folds down easily for us. On nights where he can’t settle, I can easily crawl into his cot bed with him. He also still fits in a cot if we’re away from home. He still fits in supermarket brand nappies. He still fits in the Ikea highchair. He still fits in his carseat thats made for 4-8 year olds. He still fits easily into our lives and hearts.

In January, our gorgeous and best paediatrician advised she was going to refer Luca to an endocrinologist (dr who specialises in hormone related issues) to investigate why Luca is no longer on those charts for “normal” height and weight. Last week we saw the endocrinologist and he did some blood tests. Most things looked ok/normal, but, there were a few things that now have me thinking that ignorance really is bliss. Will knowing these things bring on that anxiety I used to have when Luca was younger- trying to work out if there is a new symptom to a new health issue? Is this the start of the end?!

The first semi-concerning blood test showed he had very high sodium level. Does this relate to his kidneys? The next blood test show high urea in his blood- again- kidney related? So, of course, I’m focussing on his water intake, making sure he’s peeing etc. I’m so in the kidney zone. And the last blood test that seems to concern the endocrinologist and now me, is his “insulin-like growth factor 1” (IGF-1). It’s super low. Combined with a bone xray it confirms that Luca has almost stopped growing.

So, Luca is now on a waitlist to have a test that goes for 3 hours. He will be on an IV drip to see if he is insulin resistant. There are discussions about a future where we have the option (“not mandatory but strongly recommended”) to inject Luca with a growth hormone. My mind is racing around. I don’t want to inject my boy to make him bigger. I just want him to grow on his own. The future sometimes sucks. So for now, I am living in the now, with my darling, little boy.